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Humility

By Peter Grandbois

I’ve often wondered how much time I spend thinking about myself.

I mean if you could quantify it, measure it, scientifically scrutinize how many seconds, minutes, hours each day you spend worrying about your problems, thinking about what others think of you, or flat out obsessing over who you are and what you want, what would it add up to? I’m almost afraid to find out. Afraid of what it would say about me. What it would say about us as human beings. I tell myself that I have to Google my name regularly to find out if one of my books has been reviewed or won an award. And truth be told, I’ve discovered quite a few reviews and awards I didn’t know about this way. Strange how the writer is often the last to know. I tell myself I need to do this for my CV. Academia is nothing if not obsessed with marking each line item on your CV for tenure. So, I tell myself it’s part of my job. But deep down I know better. I know the stench of ego when I smell it.

 

     

About the Author

Peter Grandbois  is the author of nine previous books, the most recent of which is Kissing the Lobster (Spuyten Duyvil, 2018). His poems, stories, and essays have appeared in over one hundred journals. His plays have been performed in St. Louis, Columbus, Los Angeles, and New York. He is a senior editor at Boulevard magazine and teaches at Denison University in Ohio. You can find him at petergrandbois.com.

 

 

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